Something worse than popups and boooooring adverts
by Lightning-neko
Summary: Ever experimented on mixing Beyblade with a slice of HERBAL ESSENCE and horror to go on the sides? It's crazy to write, but with Takao, Max and gang, I'm not surprised, so read if you dare. Chapter 5, kisser beware, footballs can hurt. hahaha
1. THE SHOWERS MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Advertisements**

"MAO! MAO! You won't _believe_ what's happening!" Emily came running into the girls' room.

"Calm down Emily, what's the rush?" Mao questioned before she was dragged away from her seat.

"No time, just grab a camera. FAST. **NOW!**" 

Mao had never seen Emily that excited before so she grabbed a camcorder from her locker and dashed off after her red-headed friend...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had all started when Rei wanted to give his sweat filled fringe a quick wash before he went to his next class which so happened to be the torturing class of chemistry. Who would want sweat dripping into their vinegar and hydrochloric acid mixed to form the greatest acid alive? (A/N No seriously, I'm making it up)

Groping around (because he had his head down to wash _just _ the fringe), his hands gripped a bottle of shampoo which he quickly dunked on his head. (This is in the boys locker room where there are the showers)   
  
Quickly noticing the smell wasn't the one of the usual rice-water and special-herb mixed (A/N My mom says that in China, some of the village folk use that and it keeps their hair jet black) Rei chanced a quick glance at the bottle.

He sputtered. 

His eyes watered from the shampoo that had entered.

"Hey, Rei! What's that smell?" Jan asked as he walked past. (NB Rei's just washing his fringe for goodness sake!)

"GAK!" Rei tossed the bottle aside and quickly soaked the shampoo away.  
The bottle landed at Jan's feet.

Before he could pick it up though, Takao quickly grabbed it from him. Jan shrugged and walked out.

"Hey..." Takao said slowly, reading the bottle.  
"Whatsitsay???" Max asked eagerly.  
"Yeah, what's it say?" A huge crowd had gathered around Takao.  
Twitching ever so slightly, Takao grasped the bottle even tighter. Rei groaned in protest.

"Guys..." he said solemnly.

Everybody held their breaths.

"I'VE GOT THE UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRGGEEE!!!" He yelled happily, bouncing around with the bottle.  
"Takao-kun, how many burgers did you eat at lunch again?" Kyouju asked sheepishly.

"HERE YOU GOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Takao squealed as he dumped the shampoo on to Kyouju's, Max's and unfortunately, Kai's, who happened to be around.

Suddenly, two pretty mary-sues bursted in.  
_"He's got the uuuuuuurrge, to herbal!"   
_Disco lights came on and the whole boys room was thrown into a soap bubble party.

"Kinomiya, you are SO dead." Kai rinsed his hair dry of the Clairol Herbal Essence (helped by Rei who was directing the water out of the shower into the room).

"Hey! Leave me some!" Michael grinned mischieviously. No one knew whether he was talking to the Mary-sues (who were fawning over Takao) or to Takao himself.

Takao opted for option 2 and dunked some of the mixture on his flaming red hair.

Everyone was given a dose of the shampoo from a very generous Takao. To Rei's amusement (and Kai's disgust), the whole group of boys started singing.

_We've got the uuuuurge to herbal! _(Michael, Max, Steve, Eddy)  
_We'll always take a shower _(Ivan, Sergey, Rai and Kiki)  
_For more than half an hour! _(Oliver, Kyouju, Gao, Haori)  
_**WE'VE GOT THE URGE!!! **_

Everyone yelled the last one phrase and burst into laughter. The Mary-sues giggled snobbishly.

And Emily had rushed off to tell Mao about it.

As she pulled Mao back however, she found the boys room to be quite quiet.

~before Emily had returned~

"BOYS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SHAMPOO???!?!?!!!!" Professor Joyce growled.

The boys stopped playing with the bubbles and the Mary-sues disappeared mysteriously.

Snatching the bottle from Takao's hands, she stalked off.

~Meanwhile...~

"Are you sure, Emily?"  
"Positive"  
The girls waited in silence, camcorder in hands.  
"C'mon, lets take a short break." Emily sighed as she watched Joyce walking off, who was muttering "Urge".

Brandishing a kitkat, the two girls ate with zest, unbeknowst to them that the boys had started laughing and doing the whole routine over again, this time with the lyrics of...

_ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIIIIIIIIGHT SIIIIIIDE OF LIFE!!!_

_(insert whistling here)_

A few minutes later, after the Kitkat (tm) break, the girls had got their camcorders back in action, but the boys had had enough of the joke and had settled down once again.

~not the end, yet to continue next chap~

Notes:

Haori, if I listened correctly, is Lupinex. If I'm wrong, correct me, cos I really have no time to check the official website now...  
Joyce is Judy... me thinks.... need to watch again. *sighs*

No yaoi was intended in this chapter, And if you're wondering what happened to the other Euro team members and where the heck is Yuli and Boris and what happened to Kai, it'll be in the next chapter...   
Will contain some OC's, but will have to ask permission....  
Also, I'm sorry, if your favourite character is in this shampoo episode, feel free to flame me... especially if you like Oliver and thinks he isn't gay cosIthinkheisn'tgaytoosowhat'supwiththeyaoi?  
  
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v

review!

or Flame if you like, but give me tips on how to improve, k?


	2. BEWARE UNDERAGE DRINKERS

**ALCHOHOL!!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...**

N/B I do not own Beyblade or its characters. All characters here are in the Jap version... but I'm still not very confirmative of their names.

~*~

Yuli, Boris and Kai were walking down the street when they _ accidentally_ bumped into Oliver (A/N No matter how you pronounce his name, it's still "Oliver").

"Watch where you're going... _woman_," Boris snorted in disgust.  
  
"I'd say YOU watch what you're saying." Oliver growled back, ignoring the fact he was a head shorter than Yuli.

"Ignore him, Boris. Sissies are not to be mingled with." Yuli smirked, knowing what the reaction would be.

2 Mary sues popped out of nowhere and started fawning over Yuli. (A/N That was not what he predicted -_-)

"I'm as man as YOU are, _Russian_," Oliver snarled, his face turning pinkish.  
"Yeah, what if we take you on in a competition?" Jan said, popping out of nowhere.

"And what competition, I'd ask?" Both the Russians returned coldly. Kai kept his silence.

Looking confused for a moment, Jan started "err"-ing.  
Johnny popped out of nowhere and pushed a Mentos into Jan's mouth.

"MENTOS FRESHMAKER!!!" Jan yelled happily, cape and all.

"I've got no ideas." Jan shrugged.

Everyone facefaulted.

Ralf popped up next and poured a whole tube of smarties down Jan's throat.

"SMARTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!!! THE SMART CHOICE!!!!!!!"

He started boogying with the Mary sues and rolling around. (Smarties are round, right? Right? Right?)

"What about an alchohol competition?" Oliver sighed in defeat, ignoring his best friend's singing.

"You're all on!" Yuli laughed evilly. (A/N MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA)

_How do I always get dragged into these kinda things? _Kai cursed softly.

~*At Ralf's Mansion (aka castle)*~

"Ok, the rules are that whoever can still walk in a straight line after 900 pints of alchohol is the most... errr... masculine" Lightning announced. (I needed someone neutral so I had to use my OC)

Everyone nodded in agreement, particularly Oliver who bobbed his head so hard, his baret fell off.

"BUT KAI-KUN WILL DEFINITELY WIN!!!!" (name of Kai fan insert here) shouted at the top of her lungs.

"NO, JOHNNY WILL WIN!" Lightning screamed back.

"KAAAAAAIIII!!!!!"

"NO, IT'S JOHNNY!"

~It goes on, but you'll find out later.~

Yuli was gulping down his wine/beer/mead/alchohol like there was no tomorrow.  
Boris was doing the same.

Kai was scrutinizing the drinks in case someone had poisoned them.

Ralf was sipping it slowly.  
Jan was slinging his arms around the two mary-sues and was indifferent to the surroundings.  
Johnny was glaring at Kai, then Yuli, then Boris, the taking a huge gulp before repeating it.

Oliver was mixing the drinks to see if they made a nicer combination. ("Sacre bleu! This tastes so bland _") 

All of a sudden, he hiccoughed into a bottle.

The bottle returned it with a nice hollowy sound.  
Oliver tried another note.  
"Duu"  
Another.  
"Du"

"Duu"  
"Du"  
"Duu du dooooo du duu"

Everyone looked up from their drinking (except Jan and Yuli)

Johnny blew a few notes along with Oliver.

"Du Dooooo du doooOO"

Until they reached the chorus.

I LOVE YOU, BAAAAAAABY, (Johnny and Oliver clinked their glasses together)  
I'D SAY IT'S QUITE ALRIGHT  
I NEED YOU BAAAABY  
TO WIN THIS ALCHOHOL FIGHT (Yuli looked up drowsily)  
I LOVE YOU BAAAABY  
TRUST ME WHEN? (Everyone yelled, "NOW, TODAY!")  
OH TASTY BAAAAABY (Ralf raised one questioning eyebrow)  
DON'T LET ME DOWN, I SAY  
TO PROVE THAT I DEFINITELY, AM NOT GAY  
YOU BETTER HELP ME, BABY  
LET ME WIN THE FIIIIGHT 

Oliver sank back down into his chair and hiccupped.  
"I here *hic* by declare *ic* this alchohol *hiccup* Carlsberg." (A/N Disclaimer: I do not own the advertisements either)

~*Back to the Girls*~

"NO, IT'S KAI!!!"  
"IT'S JOHNNY!"  
"KAI!"  
"NO IT'S JOHNNY!"  
"IT'S KAI!!!"  
"NO, IT'S JOHNNY!"  
"IT'S KAAAAAIIIII!"  
"JOHNNY!!!!!!!!!"

~_ **ahem* _Back to the boys.*~

The current score:  
Yuli : 589 pints  
Boris : 589 pints (they're both perfect children afterall)  
Kai : 527 pints ("GOOOOOO KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!")  
Ralf :530 pints (what can I say, he's much older)  
Jan : 3 pints (womanizer)  
Johnny : 541 (what's with all the gulping) ("Nieh Nieh" :P )  
Oliver : 514 (ah well, he's mixing everything up anyways)

"Wahsh thish?" Boris asked, popping open a bottle of Guiness stout.

On the label read "Adam King".

"Whosh Asham Kinngg?"  


"что? где?"   
"там и сям, разбросанно, повсюду!!" 

"バカ," Kai growled softly.  
"Come to think of *hic* it, who _is _Adam *hic* King?" Oliver questioned.

"Adam King is an adventurer cum photog... mmmph!" Ralf struggled as Johnny clamped his mouth shut with his bandana and tied him to a chair in such a way so that he could still drink his drinks yet not be able to run away. 

(I wonder if that is even possible)

"Yeah, who's Adam King?" Jan asked, taking a sip of white wine.  


"Who's Adam King?"  
"Adam King?"  
"Who's he?"

Very soon, the boys (minus Ralf and Kai and Yuli) were parading around the room, strangely in black shirts with "Who's Adam King" printed in white.

"WHO'S ADAM KING? WHO'S ADAM KING? WHO..."

"Will you guys shut up? We can hardly hear ourselves!" Lightning screamed.

A guy suddenly popped out of thin air.  
He had a moustache.

He was dressed in black and.... black.

He had black hair.

  
He had a camera.

"Did someone call me?"

Everyone looked at him strangely.

Adam King shrugged and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Now that was weird." Yuli stated.

~*2 hours later*~

Score Table:

Yuli : 900 pints and counting  
Boris : see above  
Kai : 900 ("YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!")  
Ralf : 900 (every single drop)  
Johnny : 900 ("BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!")  
Jan : 5 ("Hey! At least I have the girls!")  
Oliver : 900 ("Heehee, red wine and rum taste nice")

~*~

"JOHNNY!"  
"KAI!!!!"  
"JOHNNY!!!!!"  
"KAIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!"  
"JOHNNY!"  
"KAII!!!"  
"JOOOOOHNNY!"  
"KAAAAAIIII!!!!"

~*~

"Owch." Boris landed on his butt after taking 29 steps.  
Behind him sat Ralf (1 step only cause he decided not to continue to play this uncouth game), who looked both bored and pissed.

Yuli took one more step than Boris.  
Then he fell face first.

"KAAAAIIIII!!!!"  
"JOHNNY!"  
"KAI!"  
"JOOOOOHNNY!"

"Hey chicks, check it out. It's Kai _**AND**_ Johnny. New flavour from Fisherman's... ARGH!"   


Both Lightning and the Kai fan had tackled Jan to the floor and started to duck tape his mouth.

And as usual, the mary sues disappeared again.

"'Scuse me, but both of them have fainted," Olive hiccuped as he continued walking on.

**O.o**

**O_o**

**X_x**

"The winner of the alchohol contest is Oliver then."

But OLiver kept walking... 

and walking

and walking.

~owari.

Notes

что? где? is the Russian equivilant of What? Where? or at least I think it is. I trust the online dictionary.  
там и сям, разбросанно, повсюду is "here there everywhere" once again, I only have my suspicions.  
バカ is baka. No prizes for guessing the meaning.  


I live in Singapore, so all the advertisements are local. So if you don't understand the joke, then hit me. u.u

And if the foreign words do not come out correct, blame it on fanfiction.net. (Hey, it rhymes!)


	3. MARY SUES RETURNnnnnnnnnnnnn

**MARY SUES PAYBACK TIME!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA**

A/N ok, so the title's lame.... I'd like to give my thanks to Fiery who reviewed 2 times ^-^. Also thanks to all other reviewers and thanks for the good advice and.... etc.

Also, I'm taking Gigasu's hint of the Jap names so if they turn out to be wrong...  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Somewhere in a faraway land, in a castle that no one had dared to do entrance before..._

"What's up with the faraway part?"

......

_ ok, in a not so faraway land, quite near the school premises..._

"I'm home, my evil comradessss." Vlad (Saguinex) appeared out of thin air, swishing his cloak.

"Right on time, bro." Kairona (Cenotaph) growled, motioning to the other two inmates of the erm... castle.

Lying on the table was Zaib (Zomb), with wires inserted throughout his body. (NO not like that...... )

Haori (Lupinex) was wearing a lab coat.

"Ahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahua!!! I vill create the .... _my _ creationg with zees power of ze Vightning. HWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
  
  
"What's up with him?"  
"He watched another rerun of The Nutty Professor."  
"... Little brothers..."

As if their prayers were answered. ("We don't pray you moron of an authoress!") mary-sue popped out of nowhere. (This is getting tiresome)

"One pull and it's easy to make every delicious meal special. *insert salesman grin*All of ALPO's great-tasting 13.2 ounce canned varieties are now available with the EZOpen lid! *insert squeal* No can opener required. Just pop the top, pull back the lid and serve!" pets a random passing dog.

Brandishing a tin can in her hand, she tried in vain to open the EZOpen lid.

"Want my help, my dear?" Vlad grinned wickedly.

Mary sue giggled and gave the can to Vlad, which he opened and handed back.

"Now you will have to paaaay....."

But the mary sue had turned away and started force feeding Haori.

"But... miss..*choke*"

"There, see? Every dog wants it, and every dog owner MUST have it! So *insert wide flash of grin* buy yours today! Alpo! Available at all the following departmental stores!"

**X.x**

"Argh, tell you what miss, why don't you just tilt your head and..."

"And yes, YOU sir," mary sue pointed a sweet finger at Kairona.  
"Me?"

"YES, YOU!" Mary sue started bouncing around the creepy motifs in the castle.  
they were suddenly turned pink and purple and blue.

"What you need is a good brand..."  
"Now miss, can you hold still..."

"OF BAND AID!!!"

  
  
  
"..."  
"..."  


"Who hired you?"

But mary sue was rummaging in her perfectly fashioned anime girl jacket for........

"ELASTOPLAST!!!"

A band aid was stuck to her thumb and she happpily stuck it up in a thumbs up movement.

" I am stuck on Band Aids cause Band Aids stuck on me!"  
" I am stuck on Band Aids cause Band Aids stuck on me!"

" I am stuck on Band Aids cause Band Aids stuck on me!" 

"Miss..."

"Every boo boo needs it, afterall, it's cool, and fashionable! *wide advertisment smile*" Mary sue plastered her whole stock of Elastoplast on Kairona.

"Guys, I think I need to go get the 'ol acid out now." Kairona sighed in defeat. Attacking the female species wasn't his thing.

"Yesss... Miss Mary sue, if you could just come closer..."  
"You know Vlad, sleeping on this table sure gives you the aches."

"Then don't play with Haori..."

"AH HAH!"  
Mary sue rummaged in her perfect jacket that fitted her perfect body (again).

"YOKO YOKO!!! It has fast soothing relief that instantly soothes your aching muscles after a hard day at work! Apply it and observe instant results!"

"Erm.. ok..."  
  


"But it smells too strong."  


"You, my dear sir, look like you also have a bad case of bone problems!"

"Vlad, how did she know we aren't human?"  
"Sssh!"

"Observe that as we grow older, our bones grow more brittle..." A chart pops up from mary sues hand.  
"So to prevent our bones from deteriorating, drink Magnolia milk today! Magnolia milk is pure milk unlike brand X which contains other artificial ingredients..." (drones on as another chart pops up.)

Everyone sleeps except for Kairona who is applying acid on the band aids.

"...So if you want to stay healthy, now, for the future, always drink your Magnolia milk *flashes grin*."

"I've got a question..." Vlad said drowsily.  
"Ahhh... I know!"

She went closer to Vlad (much to his delight)

And poured the milk down his throat.

Mary sue looked around the room.

Vlad was hacking on the milk.  
Zaib was sleeping on the table.  
Haori was sleeping next to the dog food.  
Kairona was still trying to get rid of his Elastoplasts.

"I'll be off now!"  
She quickly vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Mary sue! Come back! I haven't sucked your blood.... Oh never mind."

"You know something?"  


Everyone turned to face Haori.

"This actually tastes quite good."

~end~

Notes:

That was the weirdest chapter I've done. It didn't contain much humour. And that is depressing. Oh yeah, you know the Mary sue? It was Ralf (Robert) who wanted to play an early April fool's trick on his rivals. He borrowed a spell from me.

haha

Don't you guys get it?

Oh never mind.

Just give me some ideas of what ads to do next. I must know the sequence of them, what happens, blah.


	4. EATING AND EATING! callfoodluv hotline t...

**FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!**

A/N Hi people! I'm updating at last! Consider this a Birthday gift from me ^-^ *hinthint*  
Thanks to FieryPhoenixGryphon for giving me so much advice. And to all my other reviewers. Especially Gigasu and Starwolf. Thanks for giving me so much support ;_; so touched!

Short note: This chapter contains Yaoi for a lot of couplings... be warned!

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Takao walked down the street happily.

It was SUMMER!!! Beautiful wonderful hot hot hot summer!

And today was the last day of school! 

GLORIOUS WONDERFUL BLISSFUL SUMMER!!!!!

"SUMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEERRR!!!!"

He skipped down the street passing everyone who were now looking at him strangely.

"I know!" Takao smiled brightly.

"In celebration of the SUMMER, I'll buy an orange!"   
He then proceeded in cackling all the way to the next orange store.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Stupid passport expiry."  
  
"Clink!"

"Damn photographer."

"Clink clink!"

"Cursed photography booths!" Kai spat as he shoved his last coin into the coin slot.

"Clink!"

Grumbling and muttering to himself, he dragged himself into the booth.  
_Grandfather _was going on "holiday".  
_Grandfather _wanted him to come along.  
_Grandfather _was bringing him to Russia.  
_Grandfather _would kill his teamates if he didn't go.

Kai blinked.  
Maybe letting him kill his teammates off wasn't so bad after all.

Unknowingly, he popped a Smint into his mouth.

Takao was skipping down the street when a sudden unseen force dragged him all the way to a photo booth.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!"

Unfortunately, so was Rei, Max, Yuli, Johnny and one hell lot of fangirls. 

However, Takao was the first one who reached Kai.

"What the..."

Kai said no more as Takao whispered seductively, "No Smint no kiss."

He bent his head and leaned close....

You don't want to know what happened to Kai do you?

But ME, the mighty Authoress will tell you!!!

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...  
(gets bonked on head by angry readers)

~SHOVE~  
"I HATE YAOI YOU HORRIBLE HOMOS! GET OFF MY PRECIOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (voice goes sadistic like)  
~SHOVE~  
"I DON'T HATE YAOI! YOU IDIOT, BUT KAI IS STILL MINE!!!!!"  
~SHOVE~  
"Kai, I know you want me..."  
~SHOVE~  
"HEY! REI, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ENJOYING THIS!!!"  
~*smack*~

Everyone stares at Max who had kissed Kai on the cheek.

"OI!"  
"MAX, YOU'RE SO DEAD!"  
~SHOVE~

~~~~~eventually~~~~~~~~

"Geroff! GET OFF!"

But Rei, Max and Takao kept on clamoring over the messy tangle of fangirls.

(let's just say I rescued Johnny and Yuli)

~~~~~~~~10 minutes later~~~~~~~~~

"KAI! WE'LL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!"

"..."

"Gotta go now Kai! Gotta buy an orange!"  
"See you in school Kai!"  
"Mata ne!"

"..."

Kai glanced at his photos. Grandfather might not want to take him to Russia again.

"Why don't you use Neoprints? They're easy and convenient! Try them today!"

**-____-+**

The neoprints machine was in wrecks.

No one asked why.

~~~_back to Takao~~~~~~_

It had started raining. But Takao didn't care. He had bought raisins _and _an orange!  
What a wonderful wonderful wonderful day this was!

"I'M SIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIiIiIIIiinnnGGGING in the RAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!"

He swung himself onto a lamp post.

"I'm SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGIIIING IN THE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN!"  


His raisins dropped out of his pocket.

**O.o**

The rain stopped abruptly.

And the raisins looked like they were swelling.

Five of them swelled the largest.

Takao gasped.

THEY WERE PRUNES!!!

(ok that was lame)

A depipping gun popped up of nowhere and depipped the pipped prunes.

"I thought they were raisins?"

_No... _ a voice said.

_They are unpipped prunes where the depipping gun will deppip the unpipped prunes and plane them to the palace of pips where all the deppiped pips of unpipped prunes (now depipped) play._

**?__?**

~~~~~~Meanwhile somewhere else~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kyouju was walking down the alley to school.

He passed by a weird looking cardboard ad.

"?"

It was never there before, never was.

AND IT WAS IN THE SHAPE OF A MONITOR!!!

Maybe they were those type of cardboard figures where you stuck your head through to take a picture.  
(A/N Thailand has a lot)

Poking his head through curiously, he was immediately grabbed round the neck by a very strong arm.

"ARG!!!!"

What Kyouju saw on the other side of the board was BALKOV!!! THE EVIL ONE!!!

"You...." Balkov snarled coldly, before putting on a fake smile.  
"YOU! (Kyouju flinched) Are a curious young ... er............. researcher. Yah, researcher!"  
Balkov put on the best smile he could do.

Meanwhile Kyouju was looking at who was holding him. He wished he didn't.

"Luckily for you," Balkov grimaced, "You are entitled to a free Vanilla Coke!"

"Give it to him Sergey," Balkov muttered, pushing a vanilla coke with a straw and a mini umbrella into the burly beyblader's other hand.

"The smooth texture, combined with the refreshing taste of vanilla..... ahhhhhhhhhh..."

Balkov smirked as Sergey "accidentaly" pushed the straw up Kyuoju's nostril.

"Sergey!"  
"да!"

Kyouju was immediately pushed out of the hole with a straw stuck up his nostril. Oh, with the free coke too of course.

~Back on the other side~  
  
"Stupid advertisement... of all the paid ones, we had to choose THIS?!?!"

~Back to Kyouju~

"HI KYOUJU-KUN!!!"

"Konnichiwa..."  
"Ooooh, you've got the new coke! Lemme have it!"

Before Kyouju could do anything, Takao had snatched the whole bottle out of his hand and downed it in one gulp.

~~~~~In school~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I FEEEEEEL GENEROUS TODAY!"  
"May Kinomiya please sit down?"

"Hai, Mizuhara sensei!" Takao grinned, fingering his orange nervously.

It just looked so smooth... and sweet. With just the right amount of sourness too... not to mention juicy!

Sneaking a glance at Joyce, he peeled the first part of the orange carefully.

Joyce turned around quickly and he hid the orange under his desk.

"Hm..."Joyce shrugged and went back to writing on the black board. (What to do when your beyblade stops spinning)

Quickly peeling the rest of the orange, Takao handed one slice to a wide eyed Max, to Rei and even one to Ivan! (He was so short, he was sitting in the same row as Takao.)

Joyce turned around suddenly.  
Everyone hid their oranges in their mouths.

Then Takao piped up.   
"I KNOW I KNOW!!! Mizuhara sensei, you have an orange in your mouth too, right? Just like the advertisement!"

"No, Kinomiya-kun. And I'd like to remind you, eating in class is strictly prohibited.... no..."Joyce was cut short by Takao as he shoved an orange slice into her mouth.

"Okay Kinomiya, you're excused this time," Joyce smiled as she finished her orange.

"You _ did _have an orange in your mouth didn't you?"

"No."

"oops."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This might be the second last chapter I'm writing. Thanks for all your support, guys.

And thanks for the name translations once again Gigasu.

I know my fics are getting less humorous. Gomen... I just wasn't born to write humour. :(

Oh yeah, it's my birthday today and people are treating me like a piece of dirt.  
4th April. *hinthint*

k, thanks again for reading! Flames are very welcome especially for this chapter about the Yaoi part.


	5. MY FINAL STAND! KISSING

**The last episode???**

Yes, my dear beloved (*cough hack wheeze choke* I'mnotintoyuri *coff*) readers, the time has finally come to say goodbye in this fic... unless I get anymore weird ideas...

Whole cast: YOU BETTER NOT!

eek... ok, so what if I do? Authors have the license to kill and create ... in stories only.

Whole cast: BOO TO OC'S AND MARY SUES!!!  
Hey! I call mary sues ocs... oh wadeva (insert bimbo slang) I'll better like, you know, hurry on with this last, like, totally rad chapter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Rei?"

"Hai."

"Kiki?"

"Hai!"

"Gao?"

"urgh... stomachache..."

"..."

  
"He must have eaten the orange peels of what Takao left behind in the last chapter."  
"Yeah..."

Gao hurried out of the locker room and headed straight for the toilet.

"So who will replace Gao? The match will start in a minute," the coach said worriedly. (*ahem* someone we all know as Dickinsen. Since I'm not very sure of his name, I'll call him Kaichiyou (chairman))

He scanned his team of 12. 

Kiki was bouncing on his seat.  
Max was blowing bubblegum. :3  
Rei kept looking out of the locker room onto the pitch. No doubt looking for a certain pink haired cheerleader.  
Rai was stretching.  
Akira (you know, that guy with fat lips in the begging?) was over towering the rest of the team.

The rest were Gary tues.  
(A/N I'm too lazy... well, ok. The Gary tues are each beefy soccer champs who play like robots and do not know the meaning of fun. But they do have nice hairstyles which fangirls usually fall for.)

Kaichiyou mentally ticked off the members.   


That left only Max and Kiki as reserves.  
But who to take over Gao?

************************

"According to my calculations, our Asian team do not even stand a _chance_ against the non-Asians," Kyujou said worriedly.

"Nah, don't worry yourself into such stuff. For example, you calculated how Dragoon would lose the fight once remember? And what happened? I won!" 

Takao popped some popcorn into his mouth and chugged the whole content of a big gulp down his throat.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

"Takao?"  
Takao grinned happily.  
"Brain freeze!" he chirped.

"O... ok."

Too late, Takao reached for his 7 Eleven drink again.

****************************

"Aaaa...aaa...aaaaa....aaah"

"That must be the whistle already!" Kaichiyou said nervously, fingering his moustache.

"Ok, Max, take Gao's place."

"Why not me?" Kiki pouted angrily.  
"Because."  
"Why?"  
"Because."

By this time, the team had already marched out into the pitch. Kaichiyou followed behind them to shake hands with the opposing team's captain.

Souichiro Hito 

Or aka Voltaire...  
Sniff him out my preciousssssss... Kill him! You can smell him! Ignore the bird , hear him, ssssssmell him...

Voltaire: I'm not Voldemort.  
Authoress: Yeah, you're Souichiro Hito.

"Nice to meet you"  
"Yes, _very _nice to meet you."

Each captain proceeded in a hand cracking competition of their own, totally ignoring their own teams.

**************************

"Go Rei!!! GO!!"  
"All Stars and Majestics are the best! We'll definitely put them to the test!"  
"grrrrr... You can do it boys!!!"

"That the best you've got?"

"No," Mao smirked at Emily.  
She then brandished a bag of pocky.

Emily's eyes went wide.

"POCKY!!!!"

"Q'LICOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Both girls started on the biscuit.  
"Hey girls can I have some?"

Both the cheerleaders grinned wickedly and faced Takao.

"NIEEEEEEEH"

They set their teeth to work and clacked away all of the Pocky in front of a terrorized Takao.

(A/N Clacked as in literally _clacked_. Like a rabbit. With their two front teeth.)

*********Back to the field*************

Rei glanced distractedly at the cheerleaders, especially a pink haired one. The mary sues were failing to catch his attention.

Bonk!

A ball hit Rei's head.  
It wasn't painful, but for his plan to work...

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

"REI? NI HAI HAO MA?????"  
"Xi bei hun ah."

(Nah just kidding. This is what he really said:)

"I think I need time out. Kiki can take my place," he groaned as he staggered out, much to the joy of the green haired midget.

"That guy? Against us?"  
"He won't stand a chance," Steve grinned lopsidedly.

And in case you were wondering, the referee was erased away by a deleter, a powerful weapon of the fanfictions that causes OC's and canon characters alike to mysteriouly disappear or die.

"Hey Max!"  
"Huh?" 

"Catch!" Takao yelled from the stands.

As Max opened his mouth to protest, something flew in and he gulped nervously.  
He shouldn't have, eh?

"*gasp* Max is sprouting bunny ears!"  
"Pink ones!"  
"A bunny tail too!"

DOK

DOK  
DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK  
DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOKDOK DOKDOKDOKDOKDOK DOK DOKDOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK 

"Takao, what did you give Max?"  
"An Energizer battery!!"

Now Max was moving around the field robot style with a drum in his hands...

Oh yeah, he scored 5 goals.

*******************************

Back in the sickness bay...  
"Rei-nii, are you ok?"  
"Ah."

Before Mao could say another word, Rei hushed her and led her out of the room.

"Wanna go boating?"

  
*******************************

Things were getting desperate on the Asians' side.

Max's battery was running out.  
Their Gary tues were mysteriously erased.  
And their best player was getting rid of orange peels!!!

"THE HORROR!" Rai screamed in agony as another goal was shot in.

Just then, a saviour in an oversized jersey came to the rescue!

Is it a dwarf?  
Is it a pygmy?  
NO!!!  
IT'S KIKI!!!

With, of course a special weapon since the referee was out.

"And wad may dat be?" Yuli grinned in victory.

"MY MUM'S SPECIAL FRIEND, MORTINE!!!!"

"Mortine?"  
"Never heard of."  
"His Mum's special friend?"  
"Must be another shorty."

And from his oversized jersey, Kiki wielded...

A can of bug spray.

And of course Chesdale

Everyone stared.

"It helps to get rid of pests, even the hardiest!" He said earnestly.

The opposing team burst into laughter.

Which made Kiki angry.  
Eating the Chesdale as fast as he could, he suddenly grew bigger, and Bigger , and BIGGER.

"TAKE THAT!!!" And he sprayed a generous amount of Mortine at Steve. (Oh yeah, he was taller than even Akira)

"See, nothing wrong with..."

Steve fainted.

"Just love that Mortine!" Kiki purred against the can.

And while all this was going on, the ball had rolled into the non-Asians' net 10 times.

**********************************

The two were boating

Yes, Rei had specially skipped erm.......... "soccer practice" just to take Mao out on a date.

Isn't that sweet?

The oars of the boat slowed, then stopped.

Rei leaned closer to Mao, any second their lips would meet...

SPLOOOSH  
SPLASH

Both of them tore their gaze away from each other and glared dismally at the whole school team (both Asians and non-Asians) that was on another rowboat.

"Man..."

***************************************

They were on a hot air balloon.

"No one will find us here." Rei thought happily as Mao looked at him with her beautiful gold eyes.

They closed in again....

Rei put his arms around Mao's waist, and she put hers onto his shoulders.

Slowly,

oh so slowly,

CHOPPER  
CHOPPER   
CHOPPER   
CHUPPER  
CHOPPER

They snapped back into reality as thy looked out of the balloon to see a helicopter rising in the air steadily a few meters away.

Yes, the whole school was in it now.

"Mao, should we pop this balloon?"

***********************************

Rei had given up and invited Mao to a pizza date.

Mao had given up too.

As both sat in the pizza parlor, waiting for the pizza, they saw a man reading a newspaper upside down.

Come to think of it, almost all the patrons were either reading comics or magazines the wrong way around.

Rei sighed, but cheered up slightly as the pizza was served.

Mao was sure she could feel a hundred eyes burn into her back as she picked up her fork toplunge into the still hot pizza.

"Cool, it has a cheesy crust."  
"Yeah neat."

She could now estimate the whole cast to be staring at them.

Taking a deep breath, she twiddled her fork into the cheese to eat that part first.

Cheese was the best.

Especially pizza cheese.

Cos they were nice and long and stretchy, which gave you the feeling you were eating noodles and that Mao liked a lot.

What she didn't like was a hundred eyes staring at her while she nibbled the cheese strand away bit by bit.

by bit

by bit

by bit

Her lips met with something that did not taste like pizza.

Staring straight ahead (instead of looking around) She found her eyes locked straight into another pair of vermilion orbs.

Orbs that were just as surprised as she was.

HOOOOOOOOOORRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!

The whole parlour erupted into cheers as photos were taken and sobs were sniffled into hankies.

The pair quickly broke it up.

"Ah well, it should end this way, huh?"

"Thanks to pizza heart!" Mao grinned sheepishly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes:

Thanks to Gigasu again ^-^

I feel so proud of myself! I actually translated a name that was in Hiragana! (Dickensen's)

Clever clever me.  
Oh yeah, thanks to all my other friends (HellFenix, Tsunami-blader, Yami Kururu-_sama_) for reviewing. *looks nervously at gun pointed at me by HellFenix*

Robert wasn't in the soccer match and.. well, yeah, that's about it.

This chapter wasn't funny, but that was the best I could do :(

Well, thanks for faithfully reviewing, my fellow reviewers. I luv ya all!

My speciality is in one shots, so kick me.

*OW!!! looks at Yami Kururu who kicked me with an anime fake leg*


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